Issue Fifteen:- The Return of the Village People ( well Person! )
Why – go to the Stadium, the “wee man” in Dunmurry or trawl the Internet for bowling bags. You can buy them for 6p in Asda as this canny bowlist has done.
Why - not pop into the first annual Paul McVeigh 60th Birthday Bash on July 14th. Entrance is only £10 per head or £25 for two. An ideal way to rest your weary feet after the annual July 12th Orangefest celebrations!
Look up - the Bowls Locker on Facebook – some interesting stuff! You can find it at
https://www.facebook.com/thebowlslocker
Amazing….. a discoloured bar towel which I inadvertently left on the pitch some time ago turned up almost immediately in the Jock’s dressing room while a tasteful and very fluffy lime green micro fibre cloth and my Falls Anniversary cloth, similarly left behind have gone AWOL. Enjoy them whoever has them. Fluffy micro fibres can easily be replaced, unfortunately not the Falls one! L
Good to see - Gorgeous George out on the Green on Monday in his Village People gear. Nice to see they still have some support. Does not mean you are a bad person Georgeee Babeeee and don’t forget Deirdre loves you very much in spite of everything!!!! Just ask and my rainbow T- shirt is yours.
Which – bowler bought three gins and cranberry juice on Tuesday night when in fact all he really wanted to do was to buy one!
Which Vet - entered into a heated discussion over which of two bowls were closer to the Jack, only to discover on closer inspection that the two with blue stickers, were in fact his!! Not he first time this has happened is it laddie? Though the fact that your bowls were also a different colour might have helped – but alas no!!
Who - left his bowls on the green after a recent Vets match and did not know he was without them until a caring squad member pointed it out the next day. His team intimated that he left them there in disgust.
Which smooth bowler - lit two cigarettes simultaneously then, with every innuendo again intended, gave his girlfriend one!!!!
Which bowler – paddled his own canoe to Rathlin in short trousers. Liam Aldridge, that’s who and there is no truth in the rumour that Sean Magorrian still has a hankering for the culottes as he was once a scout master. Watch out next time you wear shorts on the green young McCloskey. You may get an invite to play with somebody’s woggle!! J
Which bowler – after early morning practice went shopping to Tesco’s in his best white bowling shoes?
Which bowler - wears the silliest hat? Jackie Collins – the bowler, not the sister of the good Joan - , Paul McVeigh, “Murph” McGeown, Liam Jordan, Dan Cregan?
Which bowler - got bloods taken last week and it left a big bruise on his arm? Bad nurse and she didn't even give him a lolly for his pains!!!!
Is there - a certain upper age limit for drinking in Lily’s Pub and was it exceeded last Saturday night when some of our bowlers visited it?
Returning to Mickey Blue Eyes - and his menagerie of animals – apparently in addition to his missing hen, he also had a rabbit that disappeared. It makes me wonder - with full innuendo intended again - did he in fact choke the chicken as was rumoured!!
There are a few people - who always park in the same place in the car park. Wanna annoy them? Take their spot!!
Quotes of the week –and both from the same guy!!! From young Karl as he urged his skip’s bowl to the kitty: “Come to Daddy” and commenting on aforesaid skip’s contribution “He wasn’t much help!” You’ll do me Karl son!!! J
While I am known – for the occasional garish T shirt, which bad boy had the audacity to wear batman socks while viewing a recent game from the Lounge? A beverage of choice for the first correct answer ( friends and family of Sean Grant are not allowed to enter )
Just to make it clear – Players on the Midweek Team are not rejects from the A and B teams – they havechosen to play in this division – and BTW, they carry the flag for the Club in dark times. And a reminder......semi final is at Pickie on June 25th with bowls inspection at 6.00pm - probable that we will be using Blue stickers as Cliftonville are the first named team. Any supporters turning up in Club colours would be most welcome.
And to those - who commented that no trial ends were played against Ulster Transport last week in the Midweek League let me remind them that trial ends are a courtesy offered by the home club. Transport chose not to take them due to the lateness of the start and I as Captain agreed. No limbs were broken nor lives lost, betting cartels in the Far East were stymied due to the game not starting on time – and guess what? – we beat the second place team in the League – result I would think…n’est pas!!!!
The following appears - with the unsolicited approval of John Tierney. As most will know he had a digitectomy and has been upbeat before, during and after the process – being the butt of several jokes and being the instigator of just as many if not more. Rumour has it that the procedure was carried out under local anaesthetic. One wonders if the surgeon performed the operation like a barber and gave John the mirror at the end to see if he wanted some more taken off. Have a good and speedy recovery Big Man and good to see you back in the same sparkling form - there but for the grace of God……J
Also making a good recovery – Gerry “the Selector” Carson. Hope it is not too long before you are back out on the pitch again, scoring goals, getting strikes, kicking a conversion, or whatever it is bowlists do!!!
And finally, the following was penned by Niall "Two Floods Walsh" while sunning himself in Spain!
Bowlstalk!
There is a certain group of people when practising their trade
Engage in conversations in the promotion of their game
If overheard by others not observing the events
Might be accused of dialogue that's often quite profane
"I need one round the back!" is an often heard demand,
Or " You've got a little wick" is just as common too
"Who's lying on the Jack? is included in the craic
And "Is the one in the Ditch Red or Blue?"
"Give me one up the middle!" or "Take a bit more grass"
And I think you're slightly tight" is just as common talk
"You weren't up with your last one!" " This one's looking better"
"Very good you've got a toucher, pass me over the the chalk!"
"I want you on your back!" is not a proposition
It means the other hand you should display
And Ladies when you're bowling with your assets in full view
Please turn that low necked top, around the other way!
Until the next smooth delivery.......which will be after the Mixed Triples
Why - not pop into the first annual Paul McVeigh 60th Birthday Bash on July 14th. Entrance is only £10 per head or £25 for two. An ideal way to rest your weary feet after the annual July 12th Orangefest celebrations!
Look up - the Bowls Locker on Facebook – some interesting stuff! You can find it at
https://www.facebook.com/thebowlslocker
Amazing….. a discoloured bar towel which I inadvertently left on the pitch some time ago turned up almost immediately in the Jock’s dressing room while a tasteful and very fluffy lime green micro fibre cloth and my Falls Anniversary cloth, similarly left behind have gone AWOL. Enjoy them whoever has them. Fluffy micro fibres can easily be replaced, unfortunately not the Falls one! L
Good to see - Gorgeous George out on the Green on Monday in his Village People gear. Nice to see they still have some support. Does not mean you are a bad person Georgeee Babeeee and don’t forget Deirdre loves you very much in spite of everything!!!! Just ask and my rainbow T- shirt is yours.
Which – bowler bought three gins and cranberry juice on Tuesday night when in fact all he really wanted to do was to buy one!
Which Vet - entered into a heated discussion over which of two bowls were closer to the Jack, only to discover on closer inspection that the two with blue stickers, were in fact his!! Not he first time this has happened is it laddie? Though the fact that your bowls were also a different colour might have helped – but alas no!!
Who - left his bowls on the green after a recent Vets match and did not know he was without them until a caring squad member pointed it out the next day. His team intimated that he left them there in disgust.
Which smooth bowler - lit two cigarettes simultaneously then, with every innuendo again intended, gave his girlfriend one!!!!
Which bowler – paddled his own canoe to Rathlin in short trousers. Liam Aldridge, that’s who and there is no truth in the rumour that Sean Magorrian still has a hankering for the culottes as he was once a scout master. Watch out next time you wear shorts on the green young McCloskey. You may get an invite to play with somebody’s woggle!! J
Which bowler – after early morning practice went shopping to Tesco’s in his best white bowling shoes?
Which bowler - wears the silliest hat? Jackie Collins – the bowler, not the sister of the good Joan - , Paul McVeigh, “Murph” McGeown, Liam Jordan, Dan Cregan?
Which bowler - got bloods taken last week and it left a big bruise on his arm? Bad nurse and she didn't even give him a lolly for his pains!!!!
Is there - a certain upper age limit for drinking in Lily’s Pub and was it exceeded last Saturday night when some of our bowlers visited it?
Returning to Mickey Blue Eyes - and his menagerie of animals – apparently in addition to his missing hen, he also had a rabbit that disappeared. It makes me wonder - with full innuendo intended again - did he in fact choke the chicken as was rumoured!!
There are a few people - who always park in the same place in the car park. Wanna annoy them? Take their spot!!
Quotes of the week –and both from the same guy!!! From young Karl as he urged his skip’s bowl to the kitty: “Come to Daddy” and commenting on aforesaid skip’s contribution “He wasn’t much help!” You’ll do me Karl son!!! J
While I am known – for the occasional garish T shirt, which bad boy had the audacity to wear batman socks while viewing a recent game from the Lounge? A beverage of choice for the first correct answer ( friends and family of Sean Grant are not allowed to enter )
Just to make it clear – Players on the Midweek Team are not rejects from the A and B teams – they havechosen to play in this division – and BTW, they carry the flag for the Club in dark times. And a reminder......semi final is at Pickie on June 25th with bowls inspection at 6.00pm - probable that we will be using Blue stickers as Cliftonville are the first named team. Any supporters turning up in Club colours would be most welcome.
And to those - who commented that no trial ends were played against Ulster Transport last week in the Midweek League let me remind them that trial ends are a courtesy offered by the home club. Transport chose not to take them due to the lateness of the start and I as Captain agreed. No limbs were broken nor lives lost, betting cartels in the Far East were stymied due to the game not starting on time – and guess what? – we beat the second place team in the League – result I would think…n’est pas!!!!
The following appears - with the unsolicited approval of John Tierney. As most will know he had a digitectomy and has been upbeat before, during and after the process – being the butt of several jokes and being the instigator of just as many if not more. Rumour has it that the procedure was carried out under local anaesthetic. One wonders if the surgeon performed the operation like a barber and gave John the mirror at the end to see if he wanted some more taken off. Have a good and speedy recovery Big Man and good to see you back in the same sparkling form - there but for the grace of God……J
Also making a good recovery – Gerry “the Selector” Carson. Hope it is not too long before you are back out on the pitch again, scoring goals, getting strikes, kicking a conversion, or whatever it is bowlists do!!!
And finally, the following was penned by Niall "Two Floods Walsh" while sunning himself in Spain!
Bowlstalk!
There is a certain group of people when practising their trade
Engage in conversations in the promotion of their game
If overheard by others not observing the events
Might be accused of dialogue that's often quite profane
"I need one round the back!" is an often heard demand,
Or " You've got a little wick" is just as common too
"Who's lying on the Jack? is included in the craic
And "Is the one in the Ditch Red or Blue?"
"Give me one up the middle!" or "Take a bit more grass"
And I think you're slightly tight" is just as common talk
"You weren't up with your last one!" " This one's looking better"
"Very good you've got a toucher, pass me over the the chalk!"
"I want you on your back!" is not a proposition
It means the other hand you should display
And Ladies when you're bowling with your assets in full view
Please turn that low necked top, around the other way!
Until the next smooth delivery.......which will be after the Mixed Triples