Issue Eleven:- Fusion Bowling – The Way Forward
In an attempt to get younger people to join the Club, the Girlies’ Section has introduced Fusion Bowling where the skills of delivering the bowls are married with the skills of Association Football. In the picture below, Donna “ Bites Yer Legs” Aldridge latches onto a pass from Sue Murphy and blasts it into the top corner of the net!!!
In an attempt to get younger people to join the Club, the Girlies’ Section has introduced Fusion Bowling where the skills of delivering the bowls are married with the skills of Association Football. In the picture below, Donna “ Bites Yer Legs” Aldridge latches onto a pass from Sue Murphy and blasts it into the top corner of the net!!!
While I am glad that the A team returned from abroad with a victory, I am not amused that there was not an ounce of scandal. I can only offer a few snippets which may or may not be hearsay as I was not there. Non travellers may not understand much of what follows but read it. Some of our luminaries get a good seeing to!! J
Which Senior Bowler and occasional visitor to the Club threw a hissy fit when he found out that the soup he had been promised before the game had been cancelled due to the fact that the team had been served a breakfast of monumental proportions en route! Bring a banana next time matey if you cannot go more than ninety minutes without getting the nosebag on. Better still, bring one of Ainsley Harriot’s delightful Chicken and Maltodextrin Cuppa Soups with you. That should stave off the pangs and restore that infectious smile and witty repartee we are so used to. If “Hungry”Anna McCoy can do without food, then so can you!
And while we are at it……Anna, honey, the provender manager ( a Middle English word for food ) apologises unreservedly for not dispatching an emissary to you and your little chum to inform you that the prandials ( another word for food – from the Latin prandium which means late breakfast ) were ready. Sometimes I think I am wasted writing this column!!! J
On the journey home, the aforementioned Donna Aldridge showed some class by quaffing gin with slices of cucumber. Pity it was Gordon’s and not Hendricks which the proper one for a cucumber immersion. There is no truth in the rumour that Sean Magorrian asked for the cucumber so that he could suck it dry.
Sean’s own throat must have been dry as he started his single transferrable song,Streets of New York just outside Drogheda and finished the last verse as the bus was approaching Dundalk. Sorry I missed your performance big man – but I’m sure I will hear it again (and again!) on the President’s Trip in August!
Who tried to butt in on the good Sean with his awful Charles Azenavour impressions?
Thanks to the older McCorry twin for informing me that the sound of the bull seal coming from across the green was in fact Gerry Lee who had nodded off mid game! On further investigation Brendan Rice told me that it was in fact a ploy that he frequently adopts when it is his turn to get one in!!!! Which is a nice segue into the following……..
One of my regular informants has told me that the self same ex President Gerry “ Burger Buns” does not like to be called for Thursday night matches as it is shopping night. Intrigued as to what the attraction might be, I followed him down to Sainsbury’s last week and found it is the night for free samples. You can have sausages, cheese bites, mini pizza slices, squares of dark chocolate all rounded off with a small measure of Blossom Hill. His poor missus thought she was being brought out for dinner.
And on the topic of shopping, a mate of mine is a Mormon. He has five wives. “Great for nookie” he says, “but all that shopping!!!!”
Who is a dedicated follower of fashion? Jim “Racing Snake” Brankin – that’s who! James, please tell me somebody else bought the detachable chinos that you were wearing on Monday night. One quick unzipping andhey presto! – shorts - tastefully over the knee, you will understand! James, quit trying to be me and return to the more sedate corduroys. And BTW (i) it’s about time you got your MA appended to your name on the Life Members Board. And BTW(ii) I am so glad the contents of my track suit bottoms raise a stir in the viewing lounge!!!
Two years ago “Odd Socks” Cregan sent one of the Vets’ teams to a wrong venue. Not to be outdone,“Gregarious” Eddie Sheridan not only turned up at the wrong venue with the cast of Cocoon in his car but proceeded to get togged out in the pavilion and only discovered his mistake when the opposition and the other half of the team did not turn up. Why? Because they had arrived three miles away at Curran BC not Larne BC where the game was supposed to be played!!!!
And on the subject of Vets, who played for seventeen ends last Monday before realising that the opposition only had three players in his rink!
Which former Parks Captain takes two bags to a game – one for his gear, the other for his bananas and grapes? He makes a mean tomato soup mind you!!!
To the “A” and “B” Team bowlers who selflessly do not enter Club competitions so that the rest of us can have a chance – thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!
What do Chris Forsythe and Harry Sargeant have in common!!!
Who makes the best and the most salad rolls this side of the Pecos Mountains? Liam Jordan’s beloved – that’s who. She supplied a veritable uberfest of those bad boys for the PGL Over 55’s Rinks Match last Monday. There was more than enough to go around. She must have thought Liam Laughran was playing and even provided some wholemeal bread for Dan Cregan!!!
Until the next smooth delivery…….
Which Senior Bowler and occasional visitor to the Club threw a hissy fit when he found out that the soup he had been promised before the game had been cancelled due to the fact that the team had been served a breakfast of monumental proportions en route! Bring a banana next time matey if you cannot go more than ninety minutes without getting the nosebag on. Better still, bring one of Ainsley Harriot’s delightful Chicken and Maltodextrin Cuppa Soups with you. That should stave off the pangs and restore that infectious smile and witty repartee we are so used to. If “Hungry”Anna McCoy can do without food, then so can you!
And while we are at it……Anna, honey, the provender manager ( a Middle English word for food ) apologises unreservedly for not dispatching an emissary to you and your little chum to inform you that the prandials ( another word for food – from the Latin prandium which means late breakfast ) were ready. Sometimes I think I am wasted writing this column!!! J
On the journey home, the aforementioned Donna Aldridge showed some class by quaffing gin with slices of cucumber. Pity it was Gordon’s and not Hendricks which the proper one for a cucumber immersion. There is no truth in the rumour that Sean Magorrian asked for the cucumber so that he could suck it dry.
Sean’s own throat must have been dry as he started his single transferrable song,Streets of New York just outside Drogheda and finished the last verse as the bus was approaching Dundalk. Sorry I missed your performance big man – but I’m sure I will hear it again (and again!) on the President’s Trip in August!
Who tried to butt in on the good Sean with his awful Charles Azenavour impressions?
Thanks to the older McCorry twin for informing me that the sound of the bull seal coming from across the green was in fact Gerry Lee who had nodded off mid game! On further investigation Brendan Rice told me that it was in fact a ploy that he frequently adopts when it is his turn to get one in!!!! Which is a nice segue into the following……..
One of my regular informants has told me that the self same ex President Gerry “ Burger Buns” does not like to be called for Thursday night matches as it is shopping night. Intrigued as to what the attraction might be, I followed him down to Sainsbury’s last week and found it is the night for free samples. You can have sausages, cheese bites, mini pizza slices, squares of dark chocolate all rounded off with a small measure of Blossom Hill. His poor missus thought she was being brought out for dinner.
And on the topic of shopping, a mate of mine is a Mormon. He has five wives. “Great for nookie” he says, “but all that shopping!!!!”
Who is a dedicated follower of fashion? Jim “Racing Snake” Brankin – that’s who! James, please tell me somebody else bought the detachable chinos that you were wearing on Monday night. One quick unzipping andhey presto! – shorts - tastefully over the knee, you will understand! James, quit trying to be me and return to the more sedate corduroys. And BTW (i) it’s about time you got your MA appended to your name on the Life Members Board. And BTW(ii) I am so glad the contents of my track suit bottoms raise a stir in the viewing lounge!!!
Two years ago “Odd Socks” Cregan sent one of the Vets’ teams to a wrong venue. Not to be outdone,“Gregarious” Eddie Sheridan not only turned up at the wrong venue with the cast of Cocoon in his car but proceeded to get togged out in the pavilion and only discovered his mistake when the opposition and the other half of the team did not turn up. Why? Because they had arrived three miles away at Curran BC not Larne BC where the game was supposed to be played!!!!
And on the subject of Vets, who played for seventeen ends last Monday before realising that the opposition only had three players in his rink!
Which former Parks Captain takes two bags to a game – one for his gear, the other for his bananas and grapes? He makes a mean tomato soup mind you!!!
To the “A” and “B” Team bowlers who selflessly do not enter Club competitions so that the rest of us can have a chance – thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!
What do Chris Forsythe and Harry Sargeant have in common!!!
Who makes the best and the most salad rolls this side of the Pecos Mountains? Liam Jordan’s beloved – that’s who. She supplied a veritable uberfest of those bad boys for the PGL Over 55’s Rinks Match last Monday. There was more than enough to go around. She must have thought Liam Laughran was playing and even provided some wholemeal bread for Dan Cregan!!!
Until the next smooth delivery…….