Issue Ten:- The Play What I Wrote
Old But Gold:- For those who have not heard it already, Paul McVeigh was stopped for speeding on the way home from playing at Larne and was told he was getting six points. He was overjoyed cos that was more than the team got at the match.
Apologies (i) for ribbing “Genial” Gerry Hanna for the flag raising debacle. At a recent home game it took three people, Messrs Magorrian, Coyle and McGetterick to do the job!
Apologies (ii) but the intended story about the Stiff One and the chickens has had to be pulled!
Apparently the PGL want to make master class videos on all aspects of the bowling game. Ballymena have been approached to feature in “Twenty Best Touchers”, Dunbarton have been asked to demonstrate “How To Spring The Jack From A Tight Head”; Ulster Transport have been asked to show “ How To Deliver a Lead Bowl To a Bare Jack” . Falls have been asked to star in “ Best Dressed Bowlers 2013”.
As mentioned in a previous column, I am quite happy to put my hand up when I have done something wrong. In a recent Vet’s Cup match, overcome by my singular rarity of playing a blinder, I ambled, on more than one occasion, into the neighbouring rink. Thanks to Edward McNally Esq for pointing this out to me. I am happy to take his advice to stay within the confines of my own playing area. More particularly I am glad, rather than taking me aside and telling me quietly, he graciously shouted it across the green to me so that not only could I hear it, but the spectators including my son and better half could also be reminded, lest they ever do it themselves. Sound advice shared with the world Edward old son. I will not forget it! Luckily no damage was done and it was decidedly less serious than someone – on the way to a Vet’s match last year - driving straight on to a roundabout without looking right and nearly causing a whacky races crash of monumental proportions and giving the occupants of the car, three heart attacks at the same time. This is not the last time you will feature in my column Eddie Boy! J
The next item is for the Vets but others may also read it. Which of the following two scenarios best describes Pat McClean and Dan “Odd Socks” Cregan’s conversation in the Jocks’ Locker Room before a game? A glass of Sanatogen Multivitamin wine for the first correct answer!
Scenario 1:
Pat: Good Morning Daniel old bean!
Dan: Good Morning Patrick. How are you today?
Pat: Fine Daniel. And yourself? In the rudest of health I trust?
Dan: A small twinge in the back but you know me, I never complain!
Pat: Indeed for you are a fine fellow! I have never heard you whinge!
Dan: Dear Boy, do I detect a small trimming of the eyebrows and nasal hair this morning?
Pat: How perspicacious of you Daniel – just a little before the game! Got to look one’s best!
Dan: It makes you look rather distinguished if may say so!
Pat: Why thank you dear boy! Have a good game.
Dan: And you too old friend! Let’s have a coffee afterwards.
Scenario 2:
Pat: Morning!
Dan: Humpfh!
Pat: What’s up with you, you old grizzly bear?
Dan: You told John Patterson he was playing today when he’s not!
Pat: !&** off! %£!! **)&^^!!!
Dan: Don’t you@:!””!!! me. !&**%£!! **)&^^!!! You old goat!
Pat: Who you calling an old goat!
Dan:- @:+**&!!
Pat: @:+**&!! To you too!!!
Dan and Pat: |?:;’####!!!! &&^^””!! n((%%331!!~~~~}]{[!!!!!!!!!
The A Team Jocks are aware of the following. I thought it should be shared with the wider group!!
The Shame He Tried To Hide!!!!!!!
Excerpt from a local sports paper from the last century….
The Echo Vol 1 No3
“St. Agnes will not have the services of Team Manager Pat Butler who has run foul of the authorities arising out of a referees report.”
Perhaps the recently and now permanently sedated - Gary McWilliams could pass Pat some of his special tablets to keep his temper in check!!
Thanks to Paul Montgomery for the original source.
Pat suffered another health scare in addition to the lost voice. He was diagnosed with gout on his knee. Some of the lower orders suggested that it was in fact a carpet burn from laying his…………….um…. carpet!
Not to be outdone by Alan Brown trying to make off with someone’s shoes last week, a Vets bowler did a variant on the same thing. He went home after a recent game with one bowling shoe and one day shoe on. He made me promise I would not let it go any further so I will simply use an anagram of his name. It was Bob Clink Lily.
New for next issue......Picture of the week. Donna Aldridge has the honour of the first girlie to appear in a tasteful snap courtesy of Stephen Snapper Stiff!!
Until the next smooth delivery……
Old But Gold:- For those who have not heard it already, Paul McVeigh was stopped for speeding on the way home from playing at Larne and was told he was getting six points. He was overjoyed cos that was more than the team got at the match.
Apologies (i) for ribbing “Genial” Gerry Hanna for the flag raising debacle. At a recent home game it took three people, Messrs Magorrian, Coyle and McGetterick to do the job!
Apologies (ii) but the intended story about the Stiff One and the chickens has had to be pulled!
Apparently the PGL want to make master class videos on all aspects of the bowling game. Ballymena have been approached to feature in “Twenty Best Touchers”, Dunbarton have been asked to demonstrate “How To Spring The Jack From A Tight Head”; Ulster Transport have been asked to show “ How To Deliver a Lead Bowl To a Bare Jack” . Falls have been asked to star in “ Best Dressed Bowlers 2013”.
As mentioned in a previous column, I am quite happy to put my hand up when I have done something wrong. In a recent Vet’s Cup match, overcome by my singular rarity of playing a blinder, I ambled, on more than one occasion, into the neighbouring rink. Thanks to Edward McNally Esq for pointing this out to me. I am happy to take his advice to stay within the confines of my own playing area. More particularly I am glad, rather than taking me aside and telling me quietly, he graciously shouted it across the green to me so that not only could I hear it, but the spectators including my son and better half could also be reminded, lest they ever do it themselves. Sound advice shared with the world Edward old son. I will not forget it! Luckily no damage was done and it was decidedly less serious than someone – on the way to a Vet’s match last year - driving straight on to a roundabout without looking right and nearly causing a whacky races crash of monumental proportions and giving the occupants of the car, three heart attacks at the same time. This is not the last time you will feature in my column Eddie Boy! J
The next item is for the Vets but others may also read it. Which of the following two scenarios best describes Pat McClean and Dan “Odd Socks” Cregan’s conversation in the Jocks’ Locker Room before a game? A glass of Sanatogen Multivitamin wine for the first correct answer!
Scenario 1:
Pat: Good Morning Daniel old bean!
Dan: Good Morning Patrick. How are you today?
Pat: Fine Daniel. And yourself? In the rudest of health I trust?
Dan: A small twinge in the back but you know me, I never complain!
Pat: Indeed for you are a fine fellow! I have never heard you whinge!
Dan: Dear Boy, do I detect a small trimming of the eyebrows and nasal hair this morning?
Pat: How perspicacious of you Daniel – just a little before the game! Got to look one’s best!
Dan: It makes you look rather distinguished if may say so!
Pat: Why thank you dear boy! Have a good game.
Dan: And you too old friend! Let’s have a coffee afterwards.
Scenario 2:
Pat: Morning!
Dan: Humpfh!
Pat: What’s up with you, you old grizzly bear?
Dan: You told John Patterson he was playing today when he’s not!
Pat: !&** off! %£!! **)&^^!!!
Dan: Don’t you@:!””!!! me. !&**%£!! **)&^^!!! You old goat!
Pat: Who you calling an old goat!
Dan:- @:+**&!!
Pat: @:+**&!! To you too!!!
Dan and Pat: |?:;’####!!!! &&^^””!! n((%%331!!~~~~}]{[!!!!!!!!!
The A Team Jocks are aware of the following. I thought it should be shared with the wider group!!
The Shame He Tried To Hide!!!!!!!
Excerpt from a local sports paper from the last century….
The Echo Vol 1 No3
“St. Agnes will not have the services of Team Manager Pat Butler who has run foul of the authorities arising out of a referees report.”
Perhaps the recently and now permanently sedated - Gary McWilliams could pass Pat some of his special tablets to keep his temper in check!!
Thanks to Paul Montgomery for the original source.
Pat suffered another health scare in addition to the lost voice. He was diagnosed with gout on his knee. Some of the lower orders suggested that it was in fact a carpet burn from laying his…………….um…. carpet!
Not to be outdone by Alan Brown trying to make off with someone’s shoes last week, a Vets bowler did a variant on the same thing. He went home after a recent game with one bowling shoe and one day shoe on. He made me promise I would not let it go any further so I will simply use an anagram of his name. It was Bob Clink Lily.
New for next issue......Picture of the week. Donna Aldridge has the honour of the first girlie to appear in a tasteful snap courtesy of Stephen Snapper Stiff!!
Until the next smooth delivery……